Look, I don't know the direction of this blog. I basically throw shit at you and hope it sticks. If you laugh a little, great, if not, I hope you still think I'm a strong black woman.
Today is A.J. Langer's 34th birthday. If you're a fan of my blog, you've noticed that I like celebrating C-List birthdays. I also like crazy white alcoholic bitches [ pronounced Rosalie]. So there you have it.
I spent the entire summer of 2004 watching My So-Called Life reruns on Noggin at 11pm EST, so you best believe that I'm going to congratulate Rayanne "Get Me a Bottle... Anything Brown" Graff on her beating the odds and making it past 30. Fuck, I hope I make it past 30. I eat massive amounts of cheese and I crush vodka. I think I also have menopause.
Anyway, from time to time you'll see birthday updates and tributes to strong independent black women. That's my blog, so suck it. Speaking of strong black independent women, my girl Laurie Graff has a book coming out this fall. Check her out here.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Iman
I'm so sick of Hollywood overlooking Iman when casting many of today's leading roles. Sit there and try and think of one movie that Iman would not have dominated. No seriously, sit there. I'm going to go shotgun a pudding while you let your thoughts marinate.
Ok, I'm back. Let's pick up where we left off. In highschool I went on the Atkin's diet, smoked 2 packs of cigarettes a day and had memberships at two tanning salons on opposite ends of the Bronx. I wanted my charred skin to hang off my back like a gossamer gown - that was my motivation for eating steaks and butter with one hand and a cigarette in the other. I did this because I looked fuckin' hot, but also to protest the gross injustice that was casting Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting.
Iman knows math. Iman likes apples. Iman's Somalian accent definitely sounds Bostonian. But leaving to that fucking dwarf to get the role. What does this mean? Ladies and gentleman, Hollywood is a racist town.
Ok, I'm back. Let's pick up where we left off. In highschool I went on the Atkin's diet, smoked 2 packs of cigarettes a day and had memberships at two tanning salons on opposite ends of the Bronx. I wanted my charred skin to hang off my back like a gossamer gown - that was my motivation for eating steaks and butter with one hand and a cigarette in the other. I did this because I looked fuckin' hot, but also to protest the gross injustice that was casting Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting.
Iman knows math. Iman likes apples. Iman's Somalian accent definitely sounds Bostonian. But leaving to that fucking dwarf to get the role. What does this mean? Ladies and gentleman, Hollywood is a racist town.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Word of the Day
Sheika-shay (verb): to timbaland beat out yo ass
Example:
"Claudiene, did you sheika-shay? It smell like broccoli and dead walrus!"
Example:
"Claudiene, did you sheika-shay? It smell like broccoli and dead walrus!"
"Pube In My Keyboard" of the Month!
Cheryl "Coko" Clemons!Together with Tamara "Taj" Johnson-George and Leanne "Lelee" Lyons, Cheryl formed the iconic group SWV "Sisters With Voices".
I can still remember sitting on the stoop in front of my building and jamming out to their Christmas album in June, while feasting on a quarter water and Jamaican beef pattie! That shit was delicious.
Happy 42nd Mindy Cohn!
Mindy played Natalie on Facts of Life. She's also my best friend/I look like her.
Facts of Life is responsible for the woman I am today. Most boys were outside scoring touchdowns in softball and my ass was sitting in front of the tv waiting for Tootie to roller skate across the screen.
Keep it tight Mrs. Garrett!
Facts of Life is responsible for the woman I am today. Most boys were outside scoring touchdowns in softball and my ass was sitting in front of the tv waiting for Tootie to roller skate across the screen.
Keep it tight Mrs. Garrett!
Monday, May 19, 2008
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