Birthday Cake Bender

I feel like Park Overall's hand after a thumb war with Meredith Baxter-Birney.

Also, please dont forget to email Mona Chaudhuri and congratulate her on Liz and I being in a relationship. If she doesn't answer her email, just head over to the corner of Spring and Varick and yell "Clamaaaaaaaaaaato and vodka", she'll pop up like a fart in a pool.

FYI Angela Luongo, I'm coming to use your pool at about 8:30. And yes, I'm bringing my bottle of vodka.

Exotic Car Shows in Fast Food Parking Lots

Ey, Gucci Bandanna, Gucci, Gucci Bandana,

Ey, Gucci Bandanna, Gucci, Gucci Bandana,

Ey, Gucci Bandanna, Gucci, Gucci Bandana,

Ey, Gucci Bandanna, Gucci, Gucci Bandana,

Ey, Gucci Bandanna, Gucci, Gucci Bandana,

Ey, Gucci Bandanna, Gucci, Gucci Bandana,

Ey, Gucci Bandanna, Gucci, Gucci Bandana,

Ey, Gucci Bandanna, Gucci, Gucci Bandana.

"Pube In My Keyboard" of the Month!

This guy sat across from me on the 1 train. It was like looking in a mirror at Mandee's.

You know this guy eats dinner at table made from hard boiled eggs!

Laughing Cow Cheese and Val Kilmer (Alternate Title: Why I'm Muslim)